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Am I A Wife First And A Mum Second Or Vice Versa?


A couple of weeks ago we had dinner with a dear Malaysian friend. He's married to his really sweet and generous Thai wife and they have an equally sweet young daughter.


It was a casual fun conversation over food about life and experiences and expenses but unfortunately he was alone that night without fam as his girls were under the weather.

The conversation turned to how busy his wife had been lately and how the only time she got to maybe squeeze in a salon appointment was maybe on a Saturday afternoon.

And then he said, "well she did go last Saturday to the salon but couldn't get in as it was too busy and she was too tired to wait it out."

He then apparently asked her why she just didn't go to another salon few doors away and she had responded saying that it was a 150 Baht ( about 400₹) more expensive than her usual place.

So the men at the table ( friend and S) we're both shaking their head at what seemed so dumb to them.

They both agreed that they would rather have their wives spend that extra and feel pampered and also be sexy for them, than having them penny- pinching.

He then went on to note that 2 days later, his wife probably went and spent double that amount to buy a toy for their daughter, who would probably end up breaking it before the week was out🤪.


All valid thoughts I concurred.


But to me, what the Mrs. did made COMPLETE SENSE and I said so💖.

This is also the reason I mentioned their ethnicities: in important ways, we're all really the same underneath.


I would, and have, definitely made the same choices.


See when we become mums, some wiring in our mindset changes.


We know we should do this, that and the other for ourselves, but then we see our sweet babies' faces and wonder how we can gift them something. Or some experience. Or some hangouts they want to have with their friends.

And all of that costs money.


And so if we can make those small adjustments, it adds up to extra money for the kids.


And it's not just babies and children. I do this for my teenagers. I'll keep you posted on how long this continues 😅.


I know most mums here already know what I'm talking about! It's not something we do with a lot of sighing and self righteous moping. It's just a way of life and thought.


I'm sure my oldest also sees it that way. That I don't need to do this anymore. For him at least, since he earns a good stipend and would rather I spend the money on myself.

Now, I don't know if this is him being a guy, or him being a responsible son who wants to give his mum a break.

But either ways, I can't stop🤦🏽‍♀️.


Who knows? Maybe some re-wiring takes place once kids actually leave your home completely and start their own lives.

(Hopefully not for a while🥹).


Now to the husbands, it makes no sense.


And that's ok. What do they really know? They'll get their sweet smelling, well dressed and groomed, pretty wife courtesy of some dry shampoo, a 15 min makeup session, some cute outfit with a spritz of perfume. And all will be well🤭.



Note: This blog post is a practical and real life experience of this writer. Written with a laugh and a wink.

It's not a sign of a neglectful wife who should know to put her husband first. 😂🙏🏼




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