Introspection : When you toe the line
When Shabin and I decided to make our relationship officially known to people, we knew there was probably an avalanche coming our way, what we didn't expect was the shit storm.
It was from the weirdest section of folks. People who had absolutely nothing to do with us except being in the same room with us once a week. If at all.
This group was up in arms over our love story. Discussing us at lengths, every time they met for official purposes or birthday parties.
They made up stories, and what options did they have. They knew absolutely Nothing about us, so fairy tales were all the fodder they had.
Even made up stories about my ex- Mom-in-law! The woman is in her 70's for heaven's sakes.
Now for those who know me, this 'shut up and let it go' business isn't me at all. I have to say something if things are wrong. Even for others. So my sense of justice was kicking in to defend myself. I wasn't guilty of these parlour sins I was apparently committing.
But that's when I had to toe the line.
To react was to give them satisfaction.
To react was to keep fuelling the nonsense.
To react was to keep getting agitated and upset.
To react was un-Christlike.
This is when we submitted to Church leadership. God has put us in a church where our senior pastors are an example. They are human, and they had their share of questions and doubts. But they're Godly. And they forgave where I needed forgiveness, guided where I needed guidance, gave correction where I needed to take accountability... More than anything, they took the time. And they hugged and loved and watched over us and supported us.
Well, they loved us enough to make time and come and bless our wedding, hang out as friends and forever set the tone of Grace.
So I did toe the line.
And though it goes against my personality, it healed me.
Though the judgey looks didn't disappear, they became non-threatening.
The process and counselling hurt, but it calmed me, brought out a new inner strength.
The journey was long and plans had to keep getting pushed, but what it left in it's wake was a beautiful circle of friends and family that are our backbone.
Introspection: Would I have toed the line if not for Shabin's commitment to God?
The woman I was, wouldn't. That is the sad and hard truth I face.
But I thank God everyday, that the woman I am after this journey, will choose to walk the narrow path.
Introspection: What have I learnt?
Gracious attitude comes from the heart, not with how educated you are or how rich.
There's always a side to things we know nothing about.
Don't be quick to get on a high horse.
Not everyone matters.
Don't lose the ones that Do matter.
There IS joy in the Morning.
If this is you, making hard choices, needing to speak to a Godly mentor or pastor...
If this is you, just needing to vent...
If this is you, just need a hug when the journey seems unfair and difficult...
Please reach out to me. I have a beautiful family of friends that will hear you, pray with you, pray for you and help you find a connection.