Irrational Love Is Just Another Day In Mommyland.
A few days ago a friend of one of my kids had an issue with them.
My child told me about it, and we discussed how they felt and why it was unfair or odd or whatever it was that they felt at that time.
It wasn't as bad as it was an unnecessary drain on their friendship and it just left me a bit disappointed with people and their selfishness. (Again). Haha.
Anyways, it had been on my mind and the next time I saw this friend in question, I was obviously a bit guarded. But also, I'm an adult and cannot fight my kid's battles. So I stayed neutral on the outside.
The inside of my heart was a different matter.
I was internally annoyed, rolling my eyes and smirking at this person.
There was a sense of, 'how could you say this about my child after they've been nothing but nice to you'.
And then it got me thinking about my ex-Mum -in-law.
From her point of view, I can see why she really dislikes me. I hurt her child.
Of course it's not the same as the small incident above. Both in terms of the hurt and the relationship between me and the friend and me and my ex-MIL.
The point is mums are irrational beings when they're in lioness mode.
Example number 2: My own mum always used to tell me this one thing. 'It doesn't matter what you've done, even if you've killed someone, come to me with the bloody knife if needed, but come to me first. I'll take the blame and handle it'.
That's not rational, but that's a mum.
My son is a 19 year old man, I still cannot sleep until he's safely home. Even if it's 3am.
My daughter is 15 and a beautiful young lady in the making. Not so in my head. As far as I'm concerned she can (should?) still wear Disney and I'd be happy.
Today used to be my mum's birthday and she would've been 73 this year. She didn't get to see my daughter but she loved my son.
She would've probably given me a lot of grief over my divorce and possibly the age difference between my husband and I now.
She would've probably nagged me about my choice in homeschooling the kids.
I always laugh and tell my sister that when we growing up, she and I had different mums😁.
Now were she alive, I'm sure my relationship would've needed to be resolved and this wouldn't have been healthy.
She would've been annoyed at me at probably all my big choices.
But that was reserved for me. And though I wish she would've been better at affirming the adult Prats, the one thing I know is that while in her mind, all these things were ok for her to feel, she would tolerate it from no one else towards me.
I remember wearing a tank top to a prayer meeting years ago. We're talking 22 years ago in Hyderabad. Very different culture and fashion acceptance from today.
And I know that my mum wasn't a major fan of it either, but she let me be. And then she went one step ahead and said something to her friend about how she likes this top on me and how the colour brings out my complexion or some other Indian mum comment or such.
And that was the end of anyone trying to side - eye my outfit.
But she isn't here now. And these arguments and disapprovals didn't really happen.
What did happen though is that I'll forever remember the bottom line. She fiercely protected me.
And that's what I choose to remember today.
And we cringe when our mums and all mums universally said through every generation, "you'll understand when you're a mum".
Mumma, I understand.
I love you.
Pic: Michthefish and I got Mamma/ baby tattoos.
The Lioness is her hand with my birth month flowers. To remind her that I've always got her.
The baby lion and her birth month flowers are on my hand. To remind me that my baby is with me always and learning to be a lioness herself.