The Power of my Mind
Hiiii peeps! Been more than a month since I sat myself down to write here.
Honestly, every time I thought about it, my mind told me 'you have nothing to say'.
I mean it was kinda true. What did I have to say beyond talking about making chore charts and actually doing house work and making sure everyone did their part..
Oh I did have the daily decision of "what do you want for breakfast tomorrow / lunch now / dinner tonight"... Insert eye roll here.
And that brings me to the start: my mind told me I had nothing to say and so I didn't!
I'm bored out of my skull today (a bit sick) and out of excuses to not blog, so here goes...
Well, for those following my geographical journey, it's being harder than I thought to settle in.
I mean every city is good for a quick holiday and back, but actually trying to make a place for yourself in a new culture (and currency) is really not easy.
Every spend gets the mental calculator going to conversion rate, making sure you don't make anyone uncomfortable with your desi ways, try not to get taken for a ride cos it's universal to fleece the foreigner, no honking on the bike: this one really took some getting used to (unless an emergency, no one does! ), remembering that Moo actually is Pig (pork) and not be phonetically tricked into thinking it's beef :)....
And then there was the house hunt: Is it safe? is it big enough? Is it too small for the budget,? Is it too big for maintenance? Is it too far from coaching? Is the interior too dark?
We saw houses in various ranges of shapes, sizes, creepy vibes and stark emptiness.
And then we saw The One:).
So kids were happy, bank account was ok ok happy and we now have a sweet, non scary home and a well divided chore list, haha.
But I've spent a bit of last month being a prisoner of my mind. In a way that I'm not proud of. I've never been the scared of life types, so this month of adjustment and some uncertainties made me see a side of myself that I didn't like.
My mind was being calculating and worried and logically poised to fail.
I spoke to friends about my worries and they prayed with me and my husband of course has some superpower of calming me, so I didn't die or kill anyone :D.
But I understand the phrase battlefield of the mind now. Joyce Meyer even wrote a whole book on it. And while the mind knows all these views and sermons, I felt like the rocky soil: I hear the words, I feel the words, but they were not rooted to stop my worries.
So I was upset and scared and upset about being upset and scared.
But the one thing that kept coming to my head was the Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego story from Daniel 3:16-28.
And the irony is that it's not their supernatural deliverance that's making me brave. It's the declaration : "even if He doesn't"!
I don't understand my head sometimes:D.
So I'm just keeping my prayers and mind fixed on God's ways that passeth my understanding.
I'm being a Christian hippie, 'go with the flow', 'que sera sera, ' 'just smile and wave boys, smile and wave,' "I'll raise a hallelujah, in the middle of the mystery..."
"Peacing out" emotional battles with the power of my mind.
P.S : I missed this :P.