Valentine's Day is in a couple of days and not for the first time, my husband and I are not together :(.
Of course that hasn't stopped me from wearing Pink and making myself happy looking at all the V-Day decorations around the city.
Met some people today and was a bit surprised at what I heard. Not judging at all. Was just surprised and began thinking about it.
2 out of the 3 couples I spoke to, had absolutely no v-day plans. In fact did not even remember the date until I asked them about their plans.
And I found out that they have no interest even. Like "it's not a thing we do".
Hmmm.
HMMMMMM.
Characteristically I of course told them that I can't imagine not celebrating, and I'm even sadder with my hubby away again this year. And I LOVE to do something with him.
But different family styles I suppose.
Now, let me not give you the impression that there's something odd about them.
1 couple has a young toddler. So I think mental and emotional space that young parents find themselves in, is a different monster.
The other 2 couples are new wed. Both very busy as they all work.
1 couple manages to get time away and mix work and pleasure.
The third couple not so much, so they are planning something for V-day.
So I'm really trying to understand how love works.
Yes I understand the whole 'let's not make it about one day, but everyday is for loving.'
A part of me wants to understand and feel the practical love and another part of me is still chasing the butterflies.
For all those not familiar with my story and have wandered here by chance, I'm a 42 year old woman with 2 teens, divorced, remarried and co-parent with my ex and still consider him family. We're an unapologetic blended family and our inner circle boasts of our siblings and close friends.
So I'm not a stranger to loving, losing, falling in love again.
Also not a stranger to evolved love.
I love my husband. A bit on the crazy side too.
I love the father of my children.
I love my sister fiercely and my girl friends with loyalty and support.
But what is it about love that makes one feel so much?
There are studies that show the affects of love on your physical body. Even a lick from a pet can calm something inside a person. Can cause your heartbeat to steady on.
So it's scientific and yet it's so enigmatic.
So simple and yet so grandiose.
Maybe because it's a God-given gift?
And we're all feeling it. The couples who don't 'celebrate' Feb 14th as well as those who do.
It's when he makes you coffee in the morning, and it's also in when he makes an expensive dinner reservation.
It's when she lets you have the last piece of pie and also when she buys you that expensive shoe.
For someone else it might be pushing themselves to that 2nd job at night to provide a roof over his/her family's head.
It's all love, and quantity and gestures are subjective.
Quality is what matters though.
A 100% in.
This however is Outside looking In.
What I mean is, it's subjective to each couple. Not each individual.
A word to the wise: learn your SO's love language and step up to the plate.
No gesture is not an acceptable response at all. This is for sure.
So love and then what?
For me it's watching him on stage or from across the room and feeling like a girl with a crush.
And on Valentine's Day, hopefully a movie online together and some awesome I Owe You coupons for this year.
So love and then what?
The hope that it never ends.
Cover pic credits: Pinterest.